Marriage relationships are made up of 3 different entities: yourself, your mate and the marital relationship itself.
It?s common knowledge in counselling circles, that a marriage relationship is a different entity from you or your spouse. The marital relationship is a team with it?s very own set of features and requirements to stop it from falling apart.
But is it that these distinctions carry so much importance?
In the first place, they matter because for a marriage relationship to grow and get stronger, it must become a top priority for the married couple. The married couple needs to discover how to give the marriage top billing.
Secondly, one of the main reasons for marital breakdown is that all sorts of things like kids, career, in-laws, hobbies and friends, end up getting a higher billing on the list of personal priorities for one or both of the spouses.
There is a belief that creating a solid marriage should just happen naturally, but consider a few things for a moment.
Both mates are different individuals, and with those differences come possible tension regarding all kinds of things like, what sort of color the house should be painted, how to save money or what?s acceptable for the kids to watch for TV shows.
Add to that, the fact that both spouses were reared in different homes by different parents who had their own rules about, cleanliness of the house, when meals should be eaten and where the ideal places were to vacation.
Helpful relationship counselling teaches you to put the marriage first by considering how your behaviour will influence your marital relationship.
For instance, if I do my part to assist in keeping the house clean, it can minimize the amount of work my spouse has and therefore give both of us more time to spend together. This problem about who does what chores around the house, is time and again one of the leading complaints married women have regarding their marriage. Most male standards for cleanliness in the home fall far short of the typical feminine standards. It?s vital for me as a married man to take into account my wife?s position and be willing to adjust my standards for cleanliness so the home will be a more peaceful place.
If my wife is determined to get enough regular exercise, our marriage is healthier because I?m not compelled to overcompensate for her emotional fatigue that results from her lack of physical activity.
The same circumstance exists for things like diet. If I?m careless about what I put in my mouth and therefore more likely to be ill, this puts an added burden on my wife that could be avoided if I was to take into account the long term effect my behaviour has on those close to me.
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Source: http://lionel1.com/blog/relationship/relationships/
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